What it's Like...

I shared this article on fb and it really hit home. She could've pulled those words straight from my mouth.

I've been so blessed to get maternity leave, especially at a time when I had to leave my job and move 800 miles north. My employer was nice enough to realize how hard I had worked the past 3 years and thought I still deserved my benefits. Better yet, my company started dolling out PAID maternity leave this year. So I am forever grateful to have the opportunity to have some time off.

But aside from that, some days, it's hard. Down.right.hard. It's been 8 weeks now. I go stir crazy during the day. Being home all alone. Going through the same motions with Claire -- feed, play, rest, repeat. Many days it's just feed, play, feed, play with no rest in between. Her schedule is unpredictable. I look forward to 5:00 when Ross gets off of work and I can pass her off. Yes, I feel awful. But I need a break.

I know he's had a long day at work. Everyday is frustrating for him at a job he's not particularly loving and losing battles left and right with his managers. They are asking more of him than any human could ever accomplish in one week of work. So yes. Ross needs a break too when he walks in that door but I'm turning selfish and resentful. So I hand her off for however long I can. But then she starts crying again. Back to me it is for another feeding.

I know one day I'll look back and miss this time. But no one prepares you for how lonely it can be. Especially in a town where we haven't made any friends yet where I could just meet someone for a quick lunch, and a quick escape from the monotonous routine.

I always try to stay optimistic but sometimes it feels good to just throw your hands up in the air and curse out loud. Then cry. Then rationalize a glass of wine at 3:00 in the afternoon...

*Kristin*


**Don't worry, I'll be fine. Just needed to vent! I know many of you can probably relate, and that, right there, is helpful.